Frequently Asked Questions - Feature with Dane Cook Part 1
Q: How long have you been doing stand up comedy?
A: I started doing stand-up in 1990. Quit my day job in 1993 becoming a full time comedian.
Q: What is the best part about being a stand up comedian?
A: Thinking something might be funny and then performing it in front of a great crowd. The wave of laughs is unlike any feeling I've ever known. Another great part of comedy is waking up at the crack of noon.
Q: Do you come up with your own material, or do you have a stable of writers?
A: I write all my own material. I don't have anyone that I collaborate with regarding my act except my seven other personalities.
Q: How old are you?
A: I was born the year my mother gave birth to me.
Q: Is Dane Cook a stage name?
A: It is my actual name. My mom named me without telling my dad. He wanted to name me (no joke) Angus-McIsaak. My dad calls me Dangerous.
Q: What's your favorite TV show?
A: All in the Family.
Q: What's your favorite MOVIE?
A: I made a great porn with this chick that I used to date but no one else has seen that. It's hidden in a place where someone can easily find it and put it on the Internet.
Q: Who influenced you most into becoming a stand up comedian?
A: Comedians. I've always been attracted to the art of comedy. No one more than the other though. I just dig watching a person on stage painting a picture that evokes laughter. And we all know laughter masks our pain. So comedy is truly the most honest live performance one can be a part of. But no one has to admit that.
Q: Where were you born?
A: Cambridge, MA but grew up in Arlington.
Q: Was your Brother really the manager at BK?
A: Yes. Now we work together for my company Great Dane Enterprises, Inc. (and he's no longer a dick).
Q: What is your favorite city to perform in?
A: I don't have a favorite. But New York, Boston and Los Angeles all have a place in my heart, lungs and sack.
Q: What was your worst onstage experience?
A: I once fell and smashed my mouth on the front of a stage. I bit into my bottom lip and when I stood up was dripping blood all over. At that point the show is over. Unless the crowd is vampires then its standing O time.
Q: Are you noticed when you go out in public?
A: Sometimes. Isn't everyone?
Q: Are you gay?
A: Nope. But I know gay people and they seem nice.
Q: What's your favorite bit to perform?
A: No idea. I just like being up there. At the end of the day it's about the experience and not the theme.
Q: How do you handle hecklers?
A: The same way I handle a hard-on. I grab hold and shake them until something good comes out of it.
Q: Were you really at the World Series?
A: Yes. That was one of the greatest days of my life. I was with my dad.
Q: At what age did you know that you wanted to be a stand up comedian?
A: I don't ever remember wanting to be anything else.
Q: Do you play a musical instrument?
A: Guitar.
Q: Do you drink or do drugs?
A: No. I've never even tried them. Not a sip of alcohol in my life. Why? I just know it's not my thing. The same way you wouldn't want to drink motor oil is how I feel about drugs and alcohol. Zero desire to put that stuff in my body. But at the peak of my success when everything is perfect in the world I've been thinking of celebrating with a blast of heroin. Just one time though. I know I can stop.
Q: Have you ever gotten a standing ovation?
A: Uh-huh, but I've also gotten a sitting ponder.
Q: What is the largest crowd that you ever performed in front of?
A: 50,000 at Gator Growl 2004.
Q: What was it like meeting David Letterman?
A: Like meeting a guy that you watch on television most of your life. Weird. Now when I watch his show I think "Wow, I was standing right next to Dave's head."
Q: What is your favorite food?
A: A 2 pound Maine lobster and a filet mignon (aka surf and turf). Side of french fries and a Pepsi.
Q: Boxers or briefs?
A: Brief-xers. New invention. Will be released with the new spring line.
Q: Have you ever had a one night stand?
A: Sure have. One time it lasted a year and that is called a Kim.
Q: Have you ever injured yourself jumping around onstage?
A: See question 12. But let me add that I also had food poisoning so bad at a show once that mid-joke I puked all over the back of the stage. The crowd all went "awwwww" and "grossssss." I just turned to them and said, "I hope you're enjoying the nachos because I didn't."
Q: Have you ever bombed onstage?
A: I've had sets where it was a mess but I've never left a stage feeling like I wanted to swallow a knife. Bombing is something you choose to do. I just find the buttons to push up there and start pressing. I don't measure a set by crowd response I gage it entirely on my creativity. If I am doing something new up there I am progressing.
Q: Do you have any tattoos?
A: Nope. But I have a magic marker so if I think of something that might look cool on my body I just jot it down on my flesh.
Q: What kind of car do you drive?
A: CT2006.
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